Seredipity III

Serendipity: Purgatory Bureaucracy

For a moment, Horatio blinked and discovered he was no longer at the convention center exit but in an office waiting room. Besides him was a man who had been shot in the head and further down a decapitated bartender. “Oh crap,” Caine thought; he recognized the place as Purgatory’s waiting room. His clothes were still covered in red, and blood still poured out of his wound.

“Horatio Caine, please report to Office 5, thank you.” The soothing voice of a woman announced over the loudspeaker. Horatio grinned and sprinted through cubicles; he knew that number. A beautiful woman, mid thirties, sat on her office seat, back facing the lieutenant. “Mari?” The nickname caused a quick reaction as the woman spun around to face him for you see; Horatio’s caseworker in Purgatory was none other than his late wife, Marisol Delko Caine.

“Honey, what are you doing here?” the dead woman exclaimed after giving the man a warm hug. Horatio shrugged nonchalantly. “You’re not supposed to be here for a long time.” Marisol added rather curious. “Apparently I got his by a truck. How’s the afterlife?” Horatio reasoned as he considered what just happened a couple of minutes prior to the moment.  “Good; just sent your latest case victim to heaven, good kid. You haven’t visited me in a while.” “Work’s been piling up; barely have time to sleep. You know, I think I’m in a coma.” Marisol gave her husband an ironic look, “You think?”

On a tv screen in Marisol’s office, the lieutenant could see his team along with two strangers and one all-too-familiar face. “What’s he doing there OVER MY COMATOSE BODY?!” Horatio yelled between surprise and horror. “We’ll, you’re gonna have to go back to find out!” Mari giggled. The normally stoic man put on a pity face. “Fine you can stay for the day.” Horatio pecked the dead woman’s cheek. “Thank you but let me just give Perry a little welcome surprise.”

~

Back in the world of the living, Horatio’s team scrambled to keep their boss alive when Dr. Cox and Dr. House arrived. “What seems to be the—HOLY CRAP, IT’S FIRECROTCH!” Perry exclaimed with unbridled glee. Calleigh recognized the doctor and groaned. “This is no time to bring back your feud with Lt. Caine.” “Fire-what?” House spat back. “You bet your sweet Southern Belle it is!”

Suddenly, Horatio sprayed blood all over Dr. Cox’s face and sweater before returning to his coma. Also covered in Caine blood was JD (who stood behind Dr. Cox to get in on the action), Natalia Boa Vista, Calleigh and House’s sneakers.

~

Quicker than Marisol could say, “What do you mean?”, Horatio had returned with a childish grin. “You ass.”